I’m Alive… You’re alive… We are all alive…


Ok now after years of Johannes Cotzee pronouncing the end of the world as we know it on the 21st May 2011 today is the 22nd of May 2011 and you know what I did this morning? I woke up with my son, took a breath and tadaaaa I was still alive… the world outside was still there, the birds still sang, the dogs still barked, people still got in there cars to go to church or Sunday breakfast at Maxi’s… in short life goes on!

So I’d like to take this Sunday morning and ask you why you would want to know the time of the Lords coming. Can’t you be happy living your life as God intended you to do?  Why pick and nick over the Bible looking for hidden meanings? God intended the bible to be a guide that the everyday man can use to life their lives to the full, not a thing to be decoded and used to scare the day lights out of people!

Have a great, day, month, year, life!



People being people

Isn’t it strange how people hardly ever practice what they preach…

Live and let live only counts when not applied to the idiot who just cut in front of you in the traffic jam from hell.

A friend in need is a friend in deed…  until that friend comes knocking on your door and you have other things to do.

Charity begins at home is surely true but it shouldn’t end there should it?

Forgive and forget is the one that gets me most and also one of my mother’s favorites… she is forever telling me when I’m angred about this or that, that I should follow in her foot steps and… forgive and forget!

Thing is that she is perhaps easy to forgive but the forgetting part well thats just like an elephant grave yard and just like all elephants she knows exactly where to go to mope over the old bones.

My father passed away in July of last year… for me this was a traumatic time as I had shortly before his death decided that he will spend his last years with me and Tris, according to his doctors he should have had about 2 to 3 years left before he would need to go into a home for frail care.

Now at this time my mother and I where sharing a flat and my father was just coming out of hospital… I breached the subject with her and she promtly packed all her belongings and moved to my aunt, claiming that the history was just to much for her to even temporarily share a home with my father.

So that left me with my son and my extreamly ill father. In the two weeks he was with me my father and I spent most nights reliving his life, the mistakes he had made… not only with my mother and deceased brother but also with me and my remaining brother. I saw my father crying over all the hurt he had caused others and I was finaly able to forgive him the pain he had caused me at times.

Every night when I came home from work he looked weaker and weaker until he woke me one night short of breath… I called the ambulance and had him taken to hospital, he had no medical aid so he had to go to HF Verwoed… not the best place to be but they took care of him as best they could.

He was there for nearly two weeks… and in that time I was only able to go visit him every second day as my mother still refused to come home and I had to ask others to babysit Tris (who was not allowed in the ward at all but thankfully one of the nurses allowed him entrance one Saturday)

So I went as often as possible and did as much as I could to cheer him up. On Tuesday the 6th of July Tris asked if he could say goodnight to his Oupa… after speaking to Tris for a while my father told me the good news he was going to receive an oxygen tank from the hospital and would be discharged the next day! I was so happy and he sounded so relived to be coming home… that night the hospital called at 2:30 am on the 7th of July 2010… my father had passed away peacefully in his sleep…

For all her preaching about forgive and forget I honestly hold a grudge against my mother for leaving me to deal with it all alone, oh she came when I called and after assisting me with the arrangements for my fathers remains she promptly returned to my aunt… no one els was there for him or for me. During his stay in hospital he and I had both reached out to so many people to come to him… none did… to be fair my brother came to see him one Saturday, brought him some fruit chatted 30 minutes and left.

Every one cried… every one said how sorry they are about his death… but no one was willing to forget their grudges, to forgive and forget, to let bygones be bygones… in the end it was up to me to hold his hand as he cried for the son he nearly didn’t get to say goodbye to as he died from cancer because of his own pigheadedness… about the son he cant save from his drug addiction… about the things he said to people he loved to push them away before they could get a chance to push him away… about the hate my mother held for him and the pain it was causing me to be torn between them yet again…

Now I feel selfish… no one is to touch anything that was his… and now every one wants their piece…but then I guess thats just people being people… right?

Coming out of hibernation…

Its been nearly a year since my last post… I have sat here countless time thinking… should I… shouldn’t I… Guess I have now decided to do it…

Thing is, I stopped blogging because of the underlying politics and for the same reason I also stopped reading other blogs. But regardless of wheather the undercurrents still flow I couldn’t really be bothered.

I started blogging just after Triston(5) was born and I’ve had 3 diffrent blogs to date… I played around with the idea of starting fresh on a new blog but hell that would leave 4 parts of ME in cyberspace so I’ll just draw the line at 3 and let you decide if you want to walk the road with me and my angel.

This isn’t a fashion blog, this isn’t a political or popularity blog, its just a place for me to spill out over my keyboard what I feel and think about anything and everything… I love comments be they good or bad so if you have something to add, advice to give or just an opinion about what ever my mind jots down go for it!

En dit is nou dit vir die Hi ek is terug deel…


Weirdest wedding ever!!

Tomorrow we are attending the weirdest wedding in the histories of weddings…  woman is marrying her ex son-in-law.  Her daughter has disappeared and she is now raising her 3 grandchildren which will as of tomorrow also be her step children and their father will then be their step grandfather and he will be the step father of his ex wife!!!!

All I can say is “thank heaven those kids are home-schooled!”

Well if nothing ells its going to be interesting. 🙂

Owl City – Fireflies

You would not believe your eyes
If ten million fireflies
Lit up the world as I fell asleep

‘Cause they’d fill the open air
And leave teardrops everywhere
You’d think me rude
But I would just stand and stare

I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay
Awake when I’m asleep
‘Cause everything is never as it seems

‘Cause I’d get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance

A foxtrot above my head
A sock hop beneath my bed
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay
Awake when I’m asleep
‘Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

Leave my door open just a crack
(Please take me away from here)
‘Cause I feel like such an insomniac
(Please take me away from here)
Why do I tire of counting sheep
(Please take me away from here)
When I’m far too tired to fall asleep

To ten million fireflies
I’m weird ‘cause I hate goodbyes
I got misty eyes as they said farewell

But I’ll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
‘Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar

I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay
Awake when I’m asleep
‘Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I’d like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay
Awake when I’m asleep
‘Cause everything is never as it seems
When I fall asleep

I’d like to make myself believe
That planet earth turns slowly
It’s hard to say that I’d rather stay
Awake when I’m asleep
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams

Pleasure and pain…

Triston celebrated his 4th birthday on the 7th of December but his party (that brought me way to close to the edge of sanity!) was on the 5th. Never ever, ever again! Well at least not for the next 12 months or so!!

He was in seventh heaven, believing himself the king of the world!



This thing took me 4 hours!! to make!!!!!

After all the partying I decided to get his tonsils checked yet again! For the past 6 months I have been telling our doc that there is something wrong even though Triston is not complaining about any pain.  His tonsils have been swollen solidly for 6 months and this last month he has actually started too complained about the pain.

I set up the appointment but our doc is on leave and I had to use another doc, she took one look at his tonsils and made the specialist appointment personally. I started getting worried, when the specialist asked questions about his sleeping patterns.

It turns out that he has sleep apnea caused by his over grown tonsils. This means that during sleep he stops breathing! So yesterday my baby boy had a tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy and two grommets put in… 

8 Other children where there for various different procedures all coming out of surgery crying and screaming in pain. My heart sank as each child came out, and Triston having always been sensitive to the pain of others started throwing up. I started preparing myself and him emotionally.

Triston’s turn came up. I went in with him till he was sleeping, and left my child’s health and well being in the hands of people I don’t know… I sat waiting and worrying…

When they rolled him out, he was lying on that huge bed; blood crusted around his mouth and nose… my heart stopped beating! When they moved him to his bed, he started moaning so I hummed his lullaby in his ear till he was calm again.

I sat vigilant by his bed for over an hour; knowing that once he wakes up the crying will start… and then he woke up. Instead of the crying and disorientation… he simply sat up and asked “Can we go home now mommy?”

My jaw dropped! I explained to him that he needs to eat and drink something first, he gladly excepted this and finished a packet of chips and drank a can of coke!

My baby boy is the bravest person I know!!

On this note, marry Christmas to you all and a fantastic new year to you and yours.

Remember to enjoy every step you take with your angels!

Love Rochelle

Ek is jammer…

Sorry mense, ek is net te damn besig om te blog… kan nie my gat draai nie.  Wanneer dinge rustiger raak sal ek weer blog.

Groete Rochelle